You suck. I grew so paranoid because of you, do you know that? I heard about how you wanted to have sex with my boyfriend at the time and that made me very upset. He would take you home after work some nights, smoke weed with you, and drink; all the while, me at school an hour and a half away. We broke up because of you the first week I was in college. Do you know how much I cried? I freaking sobbed all the time. I would be in my bed every day and cry. I would cry myself to sleep because it hurt so bad to know that I had lost someone I really cared about. When we got back together I knew I had to change, but I guess that wasn't enough. I bet you're really glad that we're not together anymore, hmm?
When him and I were in the car once and I started playing "Paradise" by Coldplay he said that this was yours and his song. I used to like that song...but now I hate it. We didn't even have a song. You bought him a Sing-a-ma-gig for Christmas last year and he would play with it all the time while he was driving. I called him "Boo" once and he told me I couldn't call him that because that's what you called him. Did you know that any of these things sort of put me off about you?
I really don't even know what I did to you in the first place, but I realized that you didn't/don't like me. I haven't even said anything to you but maybe "Hey," or "Hello," but yet, somehow you grew into disliking me. Well, I'm not going to lie, I dislike you too. I tried really hard to get to know you and to get over the fact that you and him were friends. I hated it when he went around town with you all day and didn't even call or text me. He told me that you were just a friend and that he's helping you out. He also said that you had a worse life than me. Don't get me wrong, I know people have more crazy lives than what I have, but I hated being compared to you. I hated the fact that he was hanging out with you more than he would ever hang out with me.
He has sort of become a monster now that he has hung out with you. He has gotten drunk with you while at the disc golfing course and then drove himself home. He has smoked weed with you, but luckily that stopped since he's going to be a manager where you guys work. He has picked me up high once to go to your house for a party. He texts you while he drives. And to think that he's going to move in with you? It makes me sick. To see all of the pictures that you post of him and you, it makes me want to cry. He has changed because of you and I absolutely hate it.
Do you know that I picture you and him kissing? Do you know that I picture you and him getting together? It hurts me so much. You have no idea. Do you know that I sit up late at night, waiting for him to get on Facebook so I can talk to him? Do you know that I want to talk to him every day and hear his voice? I want to know that he's okay because I worry about him all the time. I worry that he has feelings for you and by this happening, I will lose him for forever. I worry because I care so much about him. I love him still and it hurts to think that he loves someone else. It hurts to think that he could be kissing, holding, snuggling, having sex with someone else. And not just with "someone else"....oh no...it's all with you. It fucking hurts.
As I type all of this, I am hurt. I cannot express how much I really hate that you befriended him. I have some tears in my eyes and my throat is closing up. I miss my best friend more than anything and you stole him away from me. You changed him and not for the better. I lost my best friend, the one I really love, and my rock through tough
times, all because of you. There are few people in this world that I
hate, and I would have to say that you are one of them. I will always remember you as the girl who ruined my relationship. You are a home wrecker and I will never forgive you for taking him away from me.
With tears and hatred,
Samantha
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