Dear Best English Teacher Ever,

I worked really hard on my cover letter to get into Honors English my freshman year of high school.  I wrote about how much I really wanted to be in the class and why I deserved to be in it.  I also talked about how I want to have a book published one day and how a lot of my friends ask me to edit their papers.  When I sent in my cover letter and my application I was really nervous.  I had to wait many weeks until I heard if I made it in or not. 

I would run to the mailbox after school each day and check for a response letter.  I would pull all of the mail out, flip through each thing, and would be disappointed each day.  I never brought the mail in either; I think I just left it in the mailbox since I was upset every day.  However, when my letter finally came, I was really nervous opening it.  I ripped open the envelope and slowly pulled the letter out.  I unfolded the piece of paper and read these words: "Dear Samantha," and "Congratulations!" I screamed and didn't even bother reading the rest of the letter.  I called my best friend with the red hair since she had applied for the same class.  She told me that she had got in as well!  We both screamed on the phone and were really excited.  I called my dad and my mom, basically crying on the phone since I was so proud of myself.  It was an awesome moment. 

The only thing that really sucked about getting accepted into the class was the fact that we had to do summer reading.  I hated that part.  I read the following books: Tender is the Night, Anne Frank: A Diary of a Young Girl, and The Invisible Man.  The last two books I listed weren't all that bad.  However, Tender is the Night...that book was the death of me.  It took me weeks to finish it.  In fact, I remember that I was going on a camping trip before school was starting and I had to return the book to the library before we left.  I had many pages left to read in the book and we were leaving the next day.  I had to spend one of my last summer days at home reading this book.  It was dreadful.  The sad part was the fact that I love reading...just not this book.  I barely remember what was going on to be honest.  I think I bullshitted most of the essay I had to write after reading that book. 

On the first day of school there was a room full of people that were old faces and new faces.  We were all talking about which books we read and complained on how we didn't like most of them.  You walked into the room and introduced yourself and said that you did a mean impression of Scooby Doo.  We all begged for you to do it but you said that if we remembered at the end of the year, you would.  I knew right from your introduction that you were going to be an awesome teacher.  You apologized for the summer reading packet and asked us all to turn in our essays that we had written.  After that we went around the room and introduced ourselves to you.  Then you went over what we would be doing for the school year.  You talked about how we would have someone bring in a song every Friday to listen to and to figure out what it means.  You talked about the Big Questions papers that we would have to write as final exams.  Then you talked about how we would be reading books in the class as well such as Frederick Douglass, Ender's Game, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, The Odyssey and Romeo and Juliet.  We would also be watching movies in the classroom as well.  There were also vocabulary quizzes each week. 

It wasn't long before the whole classroom got really close with one another.  How you taught us made us feel like a family.  When we read in our assigned books we would have group time where we would all sit on the floor around you and talk.  We would talk about how these books fit in with our Big Questions paper questions.  We would get off topic quite a bit though since we all enjoyed hearing stories about your wife and your new daughter.  In fact, we all shared secrets and talked very deeply with one another.  I even shared the fact that my father is gay with all of the students in your class.  I also shared the story of how I thought I saw two men cut my grandfather in pieces before they shut his casket at the funeral.  We all could talk about absolutely anything.  It was really great. 

One day we all decided to switch seats to see if you really knew what our names were and weren't just remembering by where we sat.  It was weird sitting on the opposite side of the room and away from my red headed friend, but it was priceless to see your face.  We had the lights off and everything and so when you came into the pitch black room (there were no windows), you were surprised to see us in different seats.  You put your hands on your hips and said, "Is this a test to see if I know your names?" We all laughed and as you said each of our names we all went back to our original seats.  We never had assigned seats but we were very put off when someone stole our spot.  It's funny how that happens, huh?

Another "prank" we pulled on you was priceless.  You had this baby doll you left on your bookshelf for some random reason.  I think one of your classes left if behind so you kept it.  You also kept a butter knife in your desk drawer...but I don't really know why you did that.  Anyway...my red headed friend and I came up with the idea with putting the baby on your chair with the butter knife.  The whole class agreed and we went to work on pranking you.  It was so easy to prank you, by the way.  We would all come in early since we had your class right after lunch.  You always took a long time since you ate lunch with your wife.  Alright, back to the prank: we placed the baby with the butter knife in your chair and waited for you to come into the room.  You talked to us for a little while and then gave us a vocabulary quiz.  As we were taking our quiz, you went to go sit in your chair.  You spun it around and kind of yelped at what was in your chair.  We all looked up as you asked while laughing, "What is this?"  The whole class busted out laughing as we watched you put your butter knife away and your baby doll back on the shelf.  It was too funny. 

For my Friday song I brought in the song "Mad World" by Gary Jules.  Everyone really seemed to like it and I was very pleased.  You even said that you loved the song.   Many other songs were played each Friday and we had very long discussions about them.  After listening to each song on a CD and read along with the lyrics, we would look up the video on YouTube and watch it to see if it had any significance.  Each Friday was literally the best.  We could all relax and just listen to music and think deeply about each song that we heard. 

When our class was reading Romeo and Juliet you handed us each a sheet of paper with crude insults on them.  The class was split in half and we had a battle of who could say the worst insult.  It came down to me and this other guy in our class.  I totally beat his ass in the final round, that's for sure.  What can I say?  I'm pretty good at insults.  We had to memorize the intro to the play for credit too.  You made it fun though, of course.  You always made things fun.  We then were split off into groups.  We were given a scene to act out in modern time.  My group, we called ourselves S to the fourth since all of our names started with the letter, S.  Anyway, we got the scene where Juliet talks to the Nurse and Paris.  We made it pretty hilarious, I would have to say.  It was a really great time doing the skit.  After we read the play we ended up watching the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio in it.  Oh man...is he one sexy man or what?  Anyway...how embarrassing...

We read The Odyssey in class and that was pretty damn boring, I would have to say.  The only thing I really liked about reading it was the fact that we watched the movie.  I actually understood the movie more than I did the text.  That shit is hard to read.  I mean, I am really interested in Greek Mythology but this story was just really boring and repetitive almost.  The one thing I will never be able to get out of my mind is your Cyclops impression.  There was a part in the movie where a character said, "Men do not eat other men!" and the Cyclops goes, "Cyclops do!" and then he takes a bite out of a guy.  You would say that part and pretend to take a huge bite out of something.  It was priceless.

Almost once a week your wife who worked at the same school as you would come into our room during class.  Most of the time it was her asking for some money.  She would always make fun of you when she came into the classroom too.  She always had some sort of story to tell.  They always made us crack up.  One time you handed her a twenty dollar bill and thought she would walk away happy.  Oh no, she just looked at you and said, "give me your wallet."  We were all so surprised and just sat there and laughed.  "I'll bring it back, I promise!" She took it from you and left the classroom.  You were stunned and just shook your head.  "She's lucky I love her." 

You had laser eye surgery one day and came to school with sunglasses on.  You said you were really self conscious about it and didn't want us to see your "disgusting" eye.  We begged and pleaded that you just lift your sunglasses so we could see it.  You kept telling us no and just told us the story about how the procedure went.  The whole thing made me nauseous.  We were watching some type of movie that had to deal with eyes...it was a science fiction type of movie.  I don't remember the name of it but once we saw a part where an eye was having some sort of procedure we asked you to show us your eye again.  You really didn't want to but gave in.  It really didn't look that bad, honest. 

Whenever we had a vocabulary quiz you told us that if everyone got twenty out of twenty he would each buy us one large candy bar.  However, I am absolutely terrible with vocabulary quizzes.  I'm not really sure why but I would fail almost all of them.  You would always return my quizzes and ask me if there was anything you could do to help, but there wasn't anything you could do.  I would study for hours and make flash cards...they just never stuck in my brain for some reason.  There was one time, however, when I got twenty out of twenty.  I was so proud of myself and you were proud of me as well.  I was pretty upset though since one other person didn't get a twenty out of twenty on the quiz.  The one time I got all of the answers right...and we don't get candy.  It was bull shit. 

When I wrote my two Big Questions papers I was always so stressed about them.  Yeah, I wrote them the night before, I admit it.  Although, I tend to do my best writing under pressure.  I really loved the Big Questions papers.  They were literally the best part of the whole class.  I could write freely and from the heart.  I felt safe writing things to you and I really loved your comments throughout each page.  They always made me feel really good.  You always knew what to say, it seemed. 

You will always be my favorite teacher ever.  There really isn't a doubt about that in my mind.  I loved the atmosphere you had in your classroom.  We all could literally open up and show each other our real selves.  All the other Honors English Classes were full of preps and jocks.  It wasn't fun at all...and not safe.  I miss those days in your classroom.  I wish I could just go back sometimes and re do it all over again.  You're seriously the best English teacher ever.  I will never forget you!

With much gratitude and good memories,

Samantha

Dear Friend That I Wasn't Expecting,

I'm pretty sure that the two of us hated each other through my first two years of Marching Band in high school. I used to think you were a bitch and I'm sorry.  I think you thought I was a bitch too, but I never really cared.  I mean, yeah, I was sad that you didn't like me for whatever reason...but I wasn't losing sleep over it.  I used to piss you off a lot in band, huh?  I'm sorry, yet again for that.

I signed up for Pit Band my junior year of high school.  I didn't think I was going to be able to do it since if an upperclassman signed up for it, underclassmen couldn't.  I did it anyway since I saw that you had, plus my boyfriend was doing it too.  I stayed after school the first day since my boyfriend had to stay.  I was planning on just sitting there and listening to the tiny band play, but our band intern called me over.  I got my flute and sat down next to you.  It was pretty awkward the first few practices, but it got better.  I was always super nervous when I sat next to you, with the end of my flute toward your ear.  I would skip over hard passages and not really play all that often since I was afraid to embarrass myself in front of you.  Later on though, I started gaining courage to actually play.  You seemed pretty surprised that I could actually do some of the passages.

As the practices got longer and longer, we began talking.  We talked about life, my boyfriend, the girl who blew things way out of proportion (she was playing the clarinet), and just overall got to know each other.  You and I would sit in the pit and talk during breaks or right before practice.  I bought bacon flavored sunflower seeds and you fell in love with them.  We would eat them in between songs and eventually they got passed around to the whole pit.  It was pretty funny since we went through many bags just in one week.

Many people were surprised when you and I would talk and laugh together during Symphonic Band.  We would have many conversations during class, after class, and of course for Pit Band practice.  Many people pulled me aside to ask me why the hell I was talking to you.  I flat out told them that you really weren't bad at all.  They were pretty shocked and they thought I was kissing your ass just so I could be section leader.  I was not, if you are now wondering that.

I will never forget the day you stood up to the clarinetist in the pit.  She was being a total bitch to the student conductor about not wanting to stop texting.  She would miss her entrances and we would all get behind because of her.  During our break you told her that she really needed to start paying attention.  She blew up at you and the whole pit band backed you up.  She was so pissed and after all that fiasco you would text me about her.  You and I texted a lot, actually.  We would text during our breaks, during practice (we never missed an entrance), and even after practice when we were home.  The two of us talked on Facebook quite a bit too.

During the week of opening night, we spent many hours at the school running through the play.  We would eat dinner...that was how late we stayed after school.  Most of the time we wouldn't leave until around nine o'clock at night.  It got pretty tiring.  Anyway, you and I would sit next to each other during dinner.  My boyfriend joined us as well, along with many others in the pit band.  Whenever the clarinetist joined us, that became a very awkward situation...especially when she talked about having sex with a guy with a foreskin.  No one wants to hear that while we're eating.

There was an assembly at school one day and I really didn't want to go.  You and I had been texting during school and we decided to meet in the band room to "practice" for the play.  To our surprise, the whole pit band was in the band room as well "practicing" just like we had planned.  This turned out to be us standing around a huge trash can and spitting bacon flavored sunflower seed shells into it.  We all talked and laughed and had a good time.  However, we were found and had to go to the assembly anyway.  I was going to go sit with my graduating class like I was supposed to, but you and my boyfriend pulled me to your side.  I sat between the two of you and cheered for the graduating class of 2010.

One night after a performance you, me, my boyfriend, and two other people went to Buddie's Grill for a late dinner.  We sat at a corner of the restaurant and had an awesome time.  We played I Spy, 10 Fingers, and just talked.  It really was an amazing night and we all sort of became close.  The five of us actually went a second time after a show.  Many drinks were spilled that night...oh how clumsy of us.  We even went after you and my boyfriend graduated.  That was really nice to get together again and catch up.

After another performance of the play, many people were going to go to Steak and Shake for a celebration. We thought there was going to be a lot of people there, but it turned out to be just the pit band.  Which was almost better since we could all talk and such.  We had a really cute waiter and you flirted with him all night.  When he seemed to be flirting back you asked me to go to the bathroom with you.  I watched as you fixed your make-up, brushed your long hair, and then asked me how you looked.  As weird as this sounds, I wasn't expecting this to happen with us.  You were acting as if I were one of your good friends and I loved that.  I really thought that you and I were going to be close friends even after you graduated.

You had asked me to hang out after school one day so we could work on some marching band drills.  A lot of people were suspicious of you and I hanging out after school.  The plan was to work on drills, but we ended up talking instead.  We talked about life and grew even closer.  I would say that we even became good friends.  We did work on some drills after two hours of talking in the band room.  You taught me how to conduct in multiple different time signatures, how to make sure I was right on my marching techniques, and calling out the commands.  You told me that you wouldn't be surprised if I was going to be section leader my senior year.  What do you know...I got the title.

The two of us have stopped talking now and this saddens me greatly.  You were someone I could confide in.  I had invited you to many birthday parties, many regular parties, and just to hang out, but you didn't come.  Well...except for one bonfire.  That was a lot of fun.  Anyway...you and I haven't talked in about a year now.  I miss talking to you and I miss the friendship that had been growing/was there.  I hope all is going well in your life.  You don't post many status' on Facebook so I don't really know what's going on.  I just want you to know that I miss you and that you were/are a great friend.  You truly weren't a friend that I was expecting to get...what with us "hating" one another before pit band.  I hope to hear from you soon.

With hope for us to talk again and catch up,

Samantha

Dear Deena,

We met at band camp a week before college classes started.  You were my squad leader and throughout the whole season we would march by each other.  With you being the leader of Squad P, you had me and two other members of the flute section underneath your care; one of them being my friend with red hair from high school.  The two of us talked a lot during band and got somewhat close.  Your name really isn't "Deena"; we just gave you the nickname because you look like Deena from the TV show, Jersey Shore.  It's kind of scary how you two look so much alike.

During marching band practice, you and I would talk about life.  You told me about guys you had slept with, made out with, and about your life.  In return, I told you about my gay father, boyfriend, and some secrets.  We would laugh a lot every Monday and Wednesday when we had practice.  I was really glad to get to know you as a person since you're really funny and nice.  I'm not going to lie, I thought you would be kind of stuck up, but you weren't that at all.  You were nothing but nice to everyone. 

I won't forget this one time when we were at practice and one of your guy friends called you.  When you answered you tried to tell him that you were in practice, but I guess he already knew that.  He had told you to look at the roof of the closest building to us and when you did, you were shocked.  There he was, waving, at the top of the building.  You called him crazy and hung up.  You were laughing pretty hard and told me to look at the building.  I saw someone walking across it and before I could ask, you told me that it was your friend.  Apparently he really wanted to show you how to go up there sometime.  He had said that you had to be pretty sneaky to do it though.  I'm not so sure if you went up there with him sometime, but that would be awesome. 

Another thing I won't forget is that every time we would have practice, I would bring you something.  I brought you a mini can of Sprite once, a few lollipops another time, and even a cupcake.  It was pretty funny since you never really expected me to bring something each time.  It got boring standing out in the hot sun without an instrument so I would bring candy and stuff to put in my sweatshirt or in my pants pockets.  You brought me a Slurpee from 7/11 once though, and I was extremely grateful for that. 

One time while we were having a Saturday practice before the game, we were on break.  You had asked me to follow you to get more water from our large water dispenser.  After that we went and sat up in the bleachers.  I was the only underclassman sitting up there with you and many others in the band.  You introduced me and I engaged in conversation.  Not much happened after that, but I felt like I sort of belonged for a tiny moment since I hadn't been feeling that yet.  I thank you for introducing me to more people and being a friend. 

You and I talked before we went on for our half time show one time too.  You had asked me if I was going to be in the marching band next year.  I told you that I was actually thinking about transferring to somewhere else because I didn't like the atmosphere at the college we were attending.  You were pretty sad but assured me that it was okay to feel that way.  Then we went on and talked about make-up.  You said that if you didn't put foundation on your face, you would look completely different.  Apparently you had a lot of acne when you were younger and you have a few scars.  I never really wore make-up since I didn't really care about what I looked like.  I didn't straighten my hair either.  I mean, I used to, but I just sort of stopped.  You asked me to straighten my hair and wear make-up for next practice.  I did it, but you weren't there, sadly. 

I had texted you one day and asked if you wanted to get lunch or dinner sometime during the week.  You responded with a yes and we made plans for a Wednesday.  When that day came, we met at one of the food courts on campus and got some dinner.  We both ended up getting chicken fingers with ranch dressing.  The two of us sat down at a table by a window and talked while we ate.  Well...mostly it was just me talking since you had asked me about life.  Apparently I looked super stressed out or something.  I told you about how my dad was acting, how I thought I was slipping back into being depressed, how I was getting screwed over by our school, how I was definitely transferring next fall, and how stressed out I was about school and money.  You were shocked on how many things were going on in my life all at once, but gave me some advice: Do what I needed to do in order to make myself happy.  You asked me a few questions on why I wanted to leave the school since you work for the Student Association.  I told you that I didn't like the atmosphere, how transportation is horrible and that I'm basically stuck on campus since I don't have a car, how the college screwed me over with money, and how I needed more campus life.  You agreed with everything I was saying since you have heard that from many people.  You said that a lot of people leave here after their first year because it seems too much like high school and the transportation is horrible.  Well, look at me, I'm transferring somewhere else this fall.  After we were done eating and talking, you stood up and gave me a hug.  You told me that if I ever needed someone to talk to, you were here for me.  You are too sweet. 

We haven't talked much at all and that kind of saddens me.  The two of us were supposed to get lunch or dinner together one last time before I left, but that didn't happen.  I like seeing your Facebook posts though, you really seem to be getting your life together.  You were such a great friend through marching band season and then when we talked over dinner.  I never really thought that you and I would hang out besides band, but we did.  You're one of the nicest people I have ever met, Deena.  I am really glad that we met and I wish you all the best in life. 

With much thanks,

Samantha 

Dear Prep,

You and I used to be on the same softball team before high school.  I always thought you were a stuck up snob, and that didn't change at all through high school.  I would see you in the hallways and you'd be surrounded by people who you thought loved you.  Just because your daddy is the principle at the ninth grade campus doesn't make you everyone's favorite.  You're not one of my favorite people in this world either.  I would have left high school thinking that you were at least alright but after the little stunt you pulled our senior year, that all changed. 

We had Study Film as Literature together in our last trimester of high school.  You sat in your corner with your best friend while I sat on one side of the room with my friends.  We didn't talk to each other or glance at each other until the end of the trimester.  Our teacher gave us a huge project to do that involved us picking a director to give a presentation on.  There was a sign up list by the door and anyone could sign up for a director - even double up.  We had to put the names of movie titles we knew of on the list to show how much we knew about that director already.  After everyone picked a director, our teacher was going to go through and check for doubles.  If there was a double she would find a way that was fair in order to choose a student to have that certain director.  All was fair when going up there to show which director we all had in mind.  I kept talking to my friends about how I really wanted to have Tim Burton as my director.  I have seen a lot of his movies and he really was my ultimate favorite director. 

When I went up to the sign up sheet I saw that you had signed up for him already.  Next to his name was the movie, Alice in Wonderland.  I put my name down right next to yours and wrote these titles down: Edward Scissorhands, Sweeney Todd, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice, and The Corpse Bride.  Your friend, who was basically your follower, was behind me and saw that I had wrote my name down for the same director as you.  She went to you and told you what I had done.  I watched you get up from your seat and stormed over to the sign up sheet.  I watched as you crossed off my name and all of the titles I had put down.  You also wrote a bit more on it too.  As you walked back you gave me a really dirty look.  I was shocked and confused; why the hell would you do that?  I mean, it was fair game for everyone.  Our teacher had to pick between those who doubled up anyway.  It was so rude. 

After class I went up to our teacher and told her what happened.  What you probably didn't know was I have known this teacher since I was nine years old.  She used to be my neighbor.  I had already had her twice before this class and she loved me as a person.  When I told her what happened and showed her the sign up sheet she was surprised at what you did.  I told her that I really didn't care who I got, but I just wanted to let her know what had happened.  She said that she would handle it and I left the room. 

The next day our teacher called us to her desk.  We stood next to each other awkwardly and waited for what she had to say.  She looked at you sternly and said that I would be doing my directors project on Tim Burton.  I could feel you getting really angry next to me and I couldn't help but put a smile on my face.  You tried to protest but our teacher wouldn't have it.  I even heard you complain to her after I sat down.  I'm pretty sure she asked you about the scribbling on the sign up sheet.  My friends were so happy and relieved that I got Tim Burton as my director.  You went to your desk and bitched to your follower about how unfair the world was.  Oh boo hoo.  You didn't get the director you wanted.  I'm sorry, you can't get everything you want in life, Sweetheart.  Just because your daddy works at the school, you're pretty, and popular doesn't mean a thing in this classroom. 

I worked extra hard on my presentation for the next few weeks.  When it was due, I went up to the front of the classroom and showed off my PowerPoint.  Everything ran smoothly throughout my ten minute presentation.  My video clip was from my favorite movie that he directed: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.  I went on and on about Tim Burton and gave a pretty great presentation if I do say so myself.  When I was finished I looked at you and you looked pretty pissed off since you really wanted the director I had.  My friends even told me that throughout the whole presentation, you looked super sour.  That's pretty funny.  You, jealous of me?  That's crazy talk in your world, huh?  This goes to show you that just because you're one of the major preps in this school, you can't always get what you want.  Life sucks sometimes.  Deal with it.  Oh, and thanks again for crossing my name off; you probably helped me get Tim Burton. 

Thanks a bunch for being so rude,

Samantha

Dear Roxas,

The two of us met each other because of marching band my sophomore year and your junior year of high school.  You played the flute and so of course I got to know you since we were in the same section.  We quickly became friends as the year progressed.  We would talk a lot during school and have many conversations on Facebook. 

I had asked you if you were interested in staying after school one day so I could get extra credit for my Spanish class and you said yes.  We were supposed to go and watch a movie in the classroom but it was way too crowded.  The two of us ended up going out in the commons area and sat down next to a guy I had a tiny crush on.  This guy later became my boyfriend of two and a half years, little did we know.  Anyway...I was flirting with him and you were giggling and laughing at all of the silly things I said.  The three of us played a card game since he had a deck of cards in his backpack.  My step dad, who worked as a janitor at the high school, ended up walking by.  I got in trouble later that night since I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing. 

After marching band season was over we moved onto the concert season.  I normally would have sat in the front row, second first or second chair, but I didn't care.  I sat in the back row with you and the two of us found that we had something in common: we absolutely loved the video game, Kingdom Hearts.  Once this was found out, we couldn't stop talking about it.  I'm pretty sure we got some stern looks from our band director a few times for talking.  Since you and I were kind of goody-goody we decided to start writing in a journal back and forth.  We made sure that we would never miss our entrances though when playing with the band. 

Oh boy, the things we wrote in that notebook.  We began talking about how we would classify ourselves as characters from Kingdom Hearts.  I was Sora and you were Roxas.  We would create scenarios in our notebook and have miniature "fights" as our characters.  They were pretty hysterical, I'm not going to lie.  Every day we would reread what we had put in our notebook before starting yet another fight scene.  They were stupid and imaginary fights over who left a condom in the trash, who fucked who, and who said what with all of the other characters in the game.  We always talked about finding our other halves: Kairi or Namine.  We gave each person in our section and others who were our friends classifications as well.  It was pretty funny.  In fact, we gave this one girl in our section the classification as Maleficent and Pete since we didn't like them.  We would laugh so hard at our stupidity and rude humor. 

For my sixteenth birthday my mom got me a hotel room and I invited four friends to stay with me for a night.  You were one of the lucky few that I picked.  We went swimming in the swimming pool, I opened gifts/cards from you guys, and we stayed up late gossiping.  It was really an awesome time and I will never forget it. 

You couldn't go to band camp your senior year since you didn't have enough money to go.  I missed having one of my good friends there, but I called you a few times to catch up.  Plus, you had switched sections...you were a part of the mellophones your senior year.  It was pretty devastating since I couldn't talk to you much during practice.  We got through it though and our friendship grew stronger. 

You and I had a sleepover at my mom's house one time which was a lot  of fun.  We talked about boys, gossiped about people we liked and didn't like, and laughed.  We ate a ton of food and I even straightened your super curly hair.  It took around three hours to do it but it was fun!  My hand was cramped by the end though.  We took a lot of pictures together and just enjoyed the company we had to share.  I think at that point, I knew we were going to be really great friends.  

I had started dating the boy I talked about earlier and you had started dating one of your fellow mellophones.  The two of us were extremely happy with how our lives were turning out.  We even made it into Symphonic band!  That was a pretty great accomplishment.  I sat up front that year though since I really wanted to shine.  You flirted with your boyfriend and I flirted with mine before and after class started.  Sometimes even during if we caught their eyes. 

One day though, you didn't show up for school.  I figured that you were just sick or something but I was wrong.  I had many missed calls on my phone and a bunch of voicemails from a number I didn't know.  Before band class started I listened to the voicemails.  They were all from your dad and he was begging me to tell him where you were.  Once I listened to them I went to your boyfriend immediately.  He started freaking out as well.  I asked the band director if I could make a call to your dad and gave him a tiny hint of what was going on.  He let me step outside to call your dad.  He was happy that I had called him back but was disappointed that I didn't know anything about where you were.  I was pretty damn scared since he told me that you two had a fight the night before.  You apparently left a note saying that you wouldn't be back and your bike was gone.  I told him that I would let him know if I found anything out.  He was extremely grateful. 

Your boyfriend and I talked on the phone a lot because we were really worried about you.  We still hadn't heard from you and it had been about a day or two.  Then I saw that you were online on Facebook.  I messaged you right away and found out that you had been staying with one of our friends because of what had happened at your house.  You couldn't stand to live with your dad anymore.  I told you about how he had called me and was worried sick about you.  I told you that all he wants to do is talk to you.  However, you weren't ready for that yet.  You told me that you were going to call him to let him know that you were at least safe but that you weren't ready to come home just yet. 

You had showed up to school for the last few days before seniors got out early.  However, once you guys didn't have to come back anymore, I didn't get to see you much.  Later on in the week I got a phone call from your dad again.  He was asking me if you were alright and such.  I assured him that you were doing just fine but he wasn't satisfied.  He asked if it was alright for him to drop a letter off at my house so I could give it to you.  I agreed and the next day there was a big envelope in my mailbox.  I messaged our friend that you were staying with to let her know that I will be dropping the letter off later on that day.  You moved back in with your dad soon after you got the letter.  I never read it, nor do I know what was said, but I know that things were sort of patched up. 

I had asked you to stay the night at my house one night and I was pleased when you did.  The two of us stayed up really late talking about a lot of different things.  Your boyfriend was online and I told you to talk to him.  I guess you were starting to feel like you didn't love him anymore but that seemed to change after you two talked.  I even helped you get a little dirty talking in there.  You found that pretty amusing.  The next day was my boyfriend's open house for graduating and we went over there.  You invited one of your friends to come along too.  He ended up meeting us there though.  You two kind of flirted while at the party and I didn't know what happened afterwards since I left before you did to go to my dad's house.  

You broke up with your boyfriend a few days later.  He even wrote me a note asking me to help him because he was afraid to lose you.  Apparently you were being really distant from him and he couldn't stand it.  He put in that note that he would do anything to just know that you were okay.  However, I couldn't tell him anything since after my boyfriend's open house, we hadn't talked.  We didn't talk for a long time, actually.  Not until you asked if we could hang out and catch up a few months after all of that. 

When I saw that you were in a new relationship with the guy you invited to my boyfriend's open house, I was kind of mad.  I mean, I was happy that you were moving on or whatever, but I was a little mad for your ex who was still very much in love with you.  However, I got over it and wanted to reconnect again.  We would write on the Facebook walls of one another and say how much we missed each other.  It wasn't until I was home from school for a week and I had to watch my dad's house for a week that we got back together to talk.  Your boyfriend and you were pretty rocky and were breaking up so we shared many tears.  We turned the computer off though so we could talk some more and watch movies.  We went on Omegle.com as well which was pretty interesting to say the least.  There was a scary movie about a clown on TV so we watched that and ate popcorn.  We even put two TVs next to each other and we both played Kingdom Hearts 2 together.  That was pretty fun.  The next day my dad was coming home and I needed the house to be in perfect order so you helped me clean.  I told you that you didn't have to but you insisted.  You were a huge help and I thank you for that. 

We haven't seen each other since that day but we have Skyped a lot.  I met your new boyfriend via Skype and he seems like such a sweetheart.  I'm really happy for you.  I want to see you yet again so we can talk, play Kingdom Hearts, and just overall be the friends that we need.  You have been there for me in a lot of ways and I miss being able to talk to you.  We have plans to Skype soon but I don't know when that will be.  I just can't wait to hear about your life and then you hear about mine.  You're a fantastic friend and I love you so very much, Roxas. 

With love, humor, and memories,

Samantha/Sora

Dear First Kiss,

We met our freshman year of high school.  I was dating one of your good friends that I had a major crush on.  We only dated for about two weeks though.  I was pretty sad when he broke up with me since he was in love with one of my really close friends.  You and I talked about what happened and walked around the gym a couple of times.  We had Environmental Science together and were study partners.  This was the time when I was sick...I had Mano, Bronchitis, and Tonsillitis all one after the other for nine straight months.

You asked me out on a date one day while we were in class.  I spent an hour getting ready since it was my first date.  I wore my new outfit from Hollister and even carried a purse.  My hair was straightened and my mom had helped me with some makeup.  Our parents dropped us off at the movie theater so we could have this little date.  I brought a popcorn bucket so we could eat a lot of popcorn.  You paid for our tickets and our drinks and we went into our theater.  Before the movie started, you showed me an easy way to share the popcorn.  You put the bucket against one of your legs and then one of my legs and that's where it stayed for the whole movie.  We watched One Missed Call and nothing happened.  We just sat there and watched the movie.  I was expecting maybe a little bit of hand holding or an arm around my shoulders, but you didn't make a move.  I was somewhat disappointed but yet not at the same time.  After the movie, I pulled my phone out to call my mom to pick me up.  The two of us laughed because my phone told me that I had one missed call.  How ironic, right?

I went home thinking that nothing was going to happen and that you didn't like me.  I called my red headed friend and told her exactly what happened.  She was pretty disappointed too.  However, while I was talking to her, you ended up calling me.  I told her I had to go and I clicked over to where you were waiting to talk to me.  I was surprised at what you had to say, really.  You had told me that you had a really great time that night and that you really wanted to do it again.  We talked a bit more about our date and then you said that you had to go to sleep.  The two of us said good bye and we hung up. 

The weekend went by and you and I texted on and off.  When Monday came, however, I wasn't feeling up to par.  My sickness was being a bitch that morning so I skipped school.  I remember being on the couch watching Days of our Lives when I got a text from you.  You were asking where I was since I wasn't in our science class.  When you found out that I was at home sick you kept asking if I was alright.  Then it got serious: you told me that you had an amazing time on our date and that you like me a lot.  I really didn't know what to say...I was really shocked.  So when you asked me to be your girlfriend, I said yes.  We texted a few times while you were in class but when you had to go you told me that you loved me.  Really?  After one date and within an hour of us dating you drop the 'L' word?  Well...with me being young and just really surprised on you saying that...I said it back.  How stupid of me.

I would go to school on and off.  I would wake up and go to school at 7:35 every day but by lunch time I would feel so sick that I couldn't concentrate.  My grandpa or step dad would pick me up from school and take me home.  You would always text me during Environmental Science and make sure I was okay if I wasn't in class.  On the days I was in class, we would sit next to each other and talk.  One time one of your friends talked about watching Transformers with her boyfriend and all of the sexy things they did together at certain parts.  It was pretty gross...especially since her boyfriend and I used to be best friends in elementary school.

One day you were dropped off at the elementary school my mom works at and we helped her in her classroom.  You flirted with me a lot while we were there and I remember blushing like an idiot.  You were invited to go out to eat with my family and I at the Chinese restaurant by my house.  My grandparents, my mom, and my sister seemed to like you a lot.  That made me pretty happy since I was really nervous that they wouldn't like you.  What a relief.  After dinner my sister, you, and I went outside to get into the car.  The car was locked and it was freezing outside.  You were holding onto me since I was cold and was sick.  I told my sister to run inside and tell my mom to unlock the car.  Surprisingly, she did as she was told.  Once she left you looked at me and leaned in for a kiss. I'll give you a play by play on what was going through my mind at that moment:

This is it.  I'm going to have my first kiss!  Alright, Sam, calm it down.  This is no big deal.  Oh God...he's leaning in...alright...just go for it.  This...this...this is...this is IT?!  Are you fucking kidding me?! This is what I was waiting for sixteen years?!  I thought I was supposed to get sparks and feel extremely happy?  This is not what I expected.  Oh God...is that his tongue?!  Ew.  What the fuck is wrong with this guy?!  Thank God that's over!

Yeah.  Thanks.  My first kiss and you shove your tongue down my throat.  You're a fucking sick-o.  I had told you before that I had never kissed anyone before and you went and made my first time horrible.  Thanks a million.  

Days went by and we were still boyfriend and girlfriend.  I was still sick and trying to find some way to get better but nothing seemed to help.  Pretty soon it was the week of Valentine's Day.  I was thinking about breaking up with you but since you had said that you were really happy, I stayed in the relationship.  Word got back to you though from someone that I was going to break up with you.  We had a tiny fight and almost broke up but we didn't.  

You ended up coming over to my house on Valentine's Day since I made you a spaghetti dinner all by myself.  You bought me a bunch of lotion and a stuffed animal of a lamb for a gift.  I bought you Axe Body Spray since I had no clue what to get you.  The two of us sat at my dining room table and had a candlelight dinner.  After dinner we went into my basement and played Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution.  You beat my ass in Guitar Hero but I beat yours in Dance Dance Revolution.  I had my neighbor come over because I wasn't so sure if I could be alone with you or not.  But as the night progressed I told her to go home and I was going to text her if I needed her to come back over.  After she left you and I started watching Transformers.  I cannot believe that you started making moves at the exact same time in the movie as your friend was talking about during school.  You kept shoving your tongue down my throat and touching me all over.  I was really uncomfortable.  And the fact that you asked me to have sex with you?  Yeah, no.  I barely knew you!  What made you think that I would just give my virginity to you?  I don't really remember the rest of the night but I know you left around midnight.  

I left to visit my family in New York a day or two later.  While I was there I got a text from you saying that you wanted to break up.  I was kind of sad that you broke up with me but I think that was because I liked the idea of having a boyfriend.  We stopped talking all together and when school started up again, things got even more complicated.  You started talking to one of my good friends; the one that your best friend really liked.  You know?  You were such an ass hole to him.  I mean, yeah, him and I dated at one point but he was still one of my good friends...and he was one of yours.  In fact, you told him that you would talk to my good friend for him to see if she would go out with you.  Oh no, in stead, you asked her out for you.  She said yes and you kissed her right in front of him.  Do you know how much he cried and how much he hated you after that?  Complete and utter dick...that's what you are.  

I tried telling my good friend what an ass hole you really were.  Especially since you spread a rumor around the school saying that I wouldn't have sex until I was married.  Not that it really mattered since people really didn't care but it was still somewhat hurtful.  My good friend and I stopped talking because of you and I hated you for that.  In fact, you started up a bunch of drama and it made me so angry.  I tried to tell her that all you wanted was sex and she said that she would ask.  When she asked, you said no; she believed you and grew even further away from me.  However, you went back on your word and tried to have sex with her.  She broke up with you right on the spot.  The two of us got back together and she apologized for everything.  We even started up a rumor about you...actually...it wasn't a rumor since it was true.  We told everyone that you were a horrible kisser.  It's true too!  You missed our mouths all the time and shoved your tongue down our throats.  Fucking gross, dude.  

When I started dating my now ex boyfriend you told him that he needed break up with me right away.  Apparently you told stories about me to him and I'm very glad that he didn't listen to you.  I talked to him about it and told him your whole story...two years after it happened.  Little did I know that your girlfriend was sitting behind me the whole time.  She told you everything I said and you got really pissed off.  You even threatened me at one of our high school football games.  You got up in my face and told me to never speak to you or of you again.  If I did, apparently you were going to beat the shit out of me.  You called me fat, ugly, and a fucking liar.  You denied everything that happened so you could look good in front of your girlfriend.  You're absolutely terrible.  

It was awkward our senior year since we had a class together.  The people I sat with were good friends with you so you ended up sitting kiddie corner from me.  We even did group projects together since I didn't want to be left out of the group of people I knew.  When I had two of them come over to my house, I told them everything.  They had no idea that we even dated our freshman year of high school.  Oh well, I guess you wanted to erase that chapter of your life as bad as I did.  

I absolutely hate that when I get older and have kids, that they will ask me who my first kiss was.  I will always remember your name and your horrible and sloppy kiss that you gave me that night in the Chinese restaurant parking lot.  I will always remember how you put your nasty tongue in my mouth.  I always wished that you had gotten sick from kissing me, but you never did.  I hate that you were my first kiss...I honestly and truly do.  But there's nothing I can do to change that and you'll forever be in my memory...unfortunately.  

With disappointment and an ugly memory, 

Samantha

Dear Rekindled Friend,

We became the best of friends when I was young and weird.  I was the new kid on the block - my parents were freshly divorced, I had a gay father, and a new house to explore.  I am so grateful that my dad's boyfriend had sold your family a house right around the corner.  He told me that there was a new girl moving in down the road and he thought you and I would really hit it off.  Boy, did we hit it off or what?  We basically became best friends.

I was new to riding a bicycle without training wheels but you road yours like a pro.  Yes, I was about ten years old and I was still shaky on a bike...I was too nervous to learn, okay?  Anyway...We would ride bikes all over the neighborhood throughout the day.  You even taught me how to pop a wimpy wheelie when going over a part of sidewalk that was raised.  We explored our neighborhood every single day and laughed.  We hung out with a lot of other neighborhood kids, but we never got as close to them as we did with each other.

I will never forget going over to your house to hang out since it was extremely hot outside.  We went in your basement and pretended like we were scientists.  We made this "potion" out of glitter, paint, glue, and anything else we could find around us.  We dared your brother to drink it but I don't really remember if he did it or not.  We also watched Cadet Kelly on the Disney Channel that day too.  I'm pretty sure we talked about life and our dreams for the future too. 

One thing I also remember was that whenever I had my birthday, I would be so excited that you and I were the same age.  However, you always had your birthday right after mine so we would only be the same age for a tiny bit.  I was always so jealous of you being older for some reason.  How silly, right?  There really isn't anything I could do to change that. 

You and I used to have sleepovers almost every weekend.  It never mattered which house we stayed at, what mattered was staying up late, eating popcorn, talking, and watching TV.  We grew really close because of those sleepovers, I'm sure.  At both houses we would always have the basements to ourselves.  At your house we would fall asleep on the comfy chairs or couches, and at my house we'd sleep on the futon.  Each night was really fun and we would challenge each other to see who could stay up the latest.  I really don't remember who won. 

In my backyard we had this big bush thing that we made a fort in.  We broke many branches and could even stand up in our secret fort.  We made rooms such as the living room, kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom.  We would use our imaginations to see an actual house and play in there for hours on end.  I think we even had a picnic in our little "house" before.  The entrance to it was always kept a secret since we moved branches in the way so no one would know of our hideout.  I'm pretty sure we had a password to get in as well.  However, at some point we had to relocate our fort since my dad and his boyfriend didn't like what we were doing.  There was cul de sac behind my backyard that we found one day and there was yet another huge bush that we made a fort in.  Just our luck, right?  More hours were spent there on a regular basis since we had to rebuild our "house".  There wasn't any complaining though since we always had fun. 

You are the only friend that has ever came on a trip with me before.  You got to go to New York to meet my dad's side of the family.  We had to have a picture of your birth certificate and a letter from your parents saying that it was okay for you to go with us since we traveled through Canada.  There weren't any problems while going through customs if I'm remembering correctly.  The only problem was waiting in a really long line just to get back into the United States.  I hate waiting for that!  Anyway...we had an awesome weekend visiting the family.  They all seemed to love you.  We stayed at one of my aunt's houses since her and her family were in Florida going to Disney World.  My dad, his boyfriend, my sister, you, and I had the whole house to ourselves and it was pretty relaxing.  It was an awesome trip!

Sadly, I moved away to a bigger house and I believe you moved away too.  Our friendship sort of died when that happened since we didn't see one another on a regular basis.  We didn't have the same phone numbers so we couldn't call one another and hang out.  Years went by before we spoke.  It wasn't until high school when we realized that we were in the same school.  We became friends on Facebook and messaged each other every once in a while, but we never hung out.  Things were different now, I guess.  We were older and we, I guess, barely new each other after being separated.  Someone brought us back together though: your boyfriend. 

I have been friends with your boyfriend for about four years and I love him as if he is my brother.  Him and I became really close my senior year but started becoming great friends my junior year.  What I hadn't known was the fact that you two knew each other.  When I found out that the two of you were dating, I couldn't believe it.  We were thrown together once again because you had come to the high school to pick him up one day.  You and I talked and said that we needed to catch up.  We began talking more and more on Facebook and became somewhat closer. 

For Prom my senior year, I had a group of people show up at the mansion I used to live in.  My dad's ex (the one who hooked our friendship together) still lived there and he was kind enough to let us take our pictures there.  The two of us and our boyfriends took many pictures in the backyard along with a few other people who showed up a little later.  We all got a picture on the marbled staircase too.  It was a really great time.  After Prom I had breakfast at my house and we all watched Paranormal Activity 2.  I remember that you got pretty scared since you don't like scary movies all that much.  But I'm sure you had fun either way.  Speaking of scary movies...a year later we had a really big group go see Paranormal Activity 3 for the midnight showing after the Light Show at the high school.  You ended up running out of the theater at the end because you got scared.  It's all good, girl.  Some people can't handle scary movies.  It doesn't make me love you any less. 

It wasn't until this past year though that we became as close as we are.  You and I were having some boy issues: our boyfriends were being...difficult I guess is the right word.  Things just seemed to be falling apart with both of our relationships.  Well...mine did fall apart...but yours is still going strong!  You and I talked a lot about our boyfriends and made each other feel better with certain advice.  I always felt better talking to you.  One day you invited me to go see the high school play since your boyfriend/my very good friend was in it.  You picked me up from my mom's house and we went.  It was a lovely play; many laughs were shared - just like old times. 

Your boyfriend is going to the same school as I am next fall so I'm sure I'll be seeing a lot of you which is awesome!  You told me to keep an eye on  him and that I shall!  I'm so glad that he brought us together again...I'm being completely honest.  You and I were such great friends when we were younger and it's starting to get back to that.  You're like a sister to me and I mean that.  I love you very much and I cannot explain how happy I am that you and I have rekindled our friendship.  I'm pretty sure that we'll grow even closer as the years go by. 

With a whole lot of love and hope for the years to come,

Samantha

Dear Miss. Angerment Issues,

You were a new student to the high school and seemed pretty cool.  The two of us became friends rather quickly once marching band season started and that friendship grew.  You would call me whenever you were having trouble at home with your parents, asked for advice, and help with homework.  We would hang out at school and at lunch near the band room every day.  It wasn't until later when I saw a bit of your nasty side.

You used to call me a lot for advice and we'd be on the phone for hours.  You would cry on the phone and tell me about what had happened that day.  Your mom and you always fought and each time you called, there was yet another story.  You asked about boys and what you should do.  You even told me some pretty detailed stories about who you had sex with and why.  I really wasn't pleased about hearing that.  Especially about the guy with the foreskin.  I mean, I'm a pretty open person and I like talking about sex...but that went way too far.  You always crossed the line when it came to talking about things - especially sex.

I was invited to your house, along with our red headed friend and the girl who controlled her, and the four of us hung out.  I remember sitting on your bed and talking about boys while listening to music.  We ate pizza and witnessed your mom and you fighting.  That wasn't very pleasant.  I also remember your dog absolutely loving me.  But the memory is pretty foggy.   You lived in a community where there were town homes all over.  The perk of living there was the fact that you had access to the pool, hot tub, sauna, and work out room.  The four of us spent the afternoon in the pool, part of the evening in the hot tub, and then dried off in the sauna.  I remember having a really great time with the three of you, but as I said, the memory is pretty foggy.

Another memory I have is when I went to the Gay Men Chorus performance with my dad, his boyfriend, and my sister.  During the concert my phone vibrated in my pocket many times and I knew something was up.  Once intermission started I checked my phone and saw that I had three missed calls from a certain number plus three voicemails.  I typed in my password to hear all three and was surprised.  Your mom had called me and was basically begging me to call her back.  I erased the messages and called her right away.  While on the phone with her she told me that you had run away.  The reason she called me was because my number was one of the main numbers that you had called in the past.  She was hoping that you were with me but I had nothing to tell her.  I was worried the rest of the night about you since I had no idea that you would do such a thing. 

I participated in pit band my junior year since my boyfriend at the time had signed up for it.  I absolutely loved being in the pit and playing my flute for the musical.  Yes, it was a lot of hard work and a lot of hours to put in, but I did it.  And you were sitting right next to me the entire time.  I will never forget the day you blew up in everyone's faces.  The director had asked you on multiple occasions to stop texting during practice and the shows because you were missing your cues.  You didn't listen to her though so when two people from the pit band stepped up to yell at you, you grew pissed off.  They had asked you nicely, really, but you yelled at them and told them to fuck off.  When you stormed out, everyone talked about you behind your back.  I'm sure you knew that they had since you had asked me what they did after you left.  I stayed neutral even though I was siding with everyone else.  You really had no right to blow up at the director or at any of us.  With you missing your cues, you were messing up those who were practicing or performing on stage.  That was rather rude of you.

We had stopped talking once you graduated and I was somewhat thankful since I couldn't stand you blowing up at people anymore.  You did it to everyone and were very rude.  However, this past year we were brought together.  Someone had posted on my Facebook wall that they were really excited that I would possibly be attending the same school as her next fall.  Her and I were commenting back and forth and then you butted in by asking me all sorts of questions.  I answered each question with honesty and not bitchy, if I might add.  Although, when I went to the home page of Facebook I was greeted with this status that you had posted:

I fucking hate you, I hated you in high school I hated you when you thought you were better than everyone else. Your bullshit arrogance pisses me off. Your not cute brace-face, your boyfriend looks like a little boy and your full of yourself. You think you can do everything better than anyone else. I am all for not limiting yourself but come on, you are not becoming. That's why you've had so many troubles in your life. Maybe if you weren't such a bitch, so arrogant you would get farther but you've always thought you knew what was best. You just seriously piss me off and I fucking hate you. ~*~You know who you are after this post~*~

Where the fuck did this come from, hmm?  I really wasn't rude to you at all when I answered your questions!  Anyone can look at the wall post and read the comments!  And this isn't all of the mean stuff you said to me that day.  Oh no...there were comments that you had posted in response to someone who was fueling your anger:

if i cared enough id kick her ass just so she could see my wrath and its not even just me, its all of her friends that are saying this. people that have been her friend since elementary school. they just tolerate it. im willing to say all the things i feel and all the things that others agree with me on. shes full of herself and she needs to know that its unbecoming,

And:

like i said before, im nice and a sweetheart until u wrong me, no need to be rude when i havent done anything to u. but im glad i posted this because ppl i didnt think would speak out to me about this did and i found out that im not the only one that feels this way, may not have come off about it with such a strong force but they agree with me about her. good came of this: i found some followers and this girl now knows how i feel about it. Side note to said girl: everyone feels the same way as i do, im just brave enough to step up and say it. get off ur high horse, because u compared to everyone else at svsu, ur nothing. and in the real world, no body is anything of importance except #1 the president #2 god.

First off, I must say, that you have horrible grammar and you spell things incorrectly.  This drives me completely insane.  Secondly, I really didn't do anything to you to provoke you to write such hateful things.  In fact, I have been nothing but nice to you at all times.  Why in the hell would you write such horrible things?  Thirdly, I have friends, thank you very much.  The "followers" you speak of, I'm pretty sure you only have a party of two: you and The Girl That Put Me Through Hell.  Good luck with that because I could really care less about what the two of you have to say to me.  And also, just to let you know, I had many people comment on my wall about you and just in case you didn't read them, here they are:

Dear jerk that is being a major bully to Sam!
I'm glad you can bully someone via Facebook that takes a lot of balls. I hope someday you get put in your place because that's just rude. . .but I haven't known her for that long and I enjoy her presence. and because Sam is too nice, and your name for her was right on the dot, "an angel", I will tell you right now all you are is a bully and you are insecure and place them on Sam. You obviously are not an adult and I hope you hit puberty soon!  

And p.s. Sam does not have a fat face, it's nice to pick on people via Facebook, people probably have said rude things behind your back, their just to scared to say. . . because your a punk ass scary bully with no balls.

Dear Bully, when you get your period, let me know. I'll through you a coming of age party.

Dear Bully: I could say quite a few things about your appearance as well but I will not sink to your level of immaturity. Bullies are people who have been hurt too many times so go pick on someone else. I love Sam.  She is an amazing friend.  So stop being mean and go pick on someone else. :P

And:

Dear bitch that is bullying Sam, you calling someone "unbecoming" is the funniest thing I've ever seen. Also, you say you had "courage"? You posted a fucking status on Facebook. It isn't anything to write home about. You had the "courage" to start drama and bully someone. To call her names and say that everyone feels the way you do. You are the single most ignorant person I've ever had the unpleasantry of talking to. You make an illiterate 4 year old orphan seem like Erwin fucking Schrodinger. You have no right to do what you did. Grow up. Move on with your life.

When my boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago you had the guts to message me.  Here was our conversation:

You: i know ive been a bitch but u were still one of my good friends, what happened?? are u ok??

Me: No, I'm not okay.

You: what happened? i know ur not ok, me and my guy are fighting right now and i have plans of moving into an apartment close to his house and it feels like were breaking up, i feel horrible right now with my guy too, u know u can always talk to me sam, ive always listened to u and given u the best advice, what happened?

Me: He broke up with me. Nothing else to say.

You: what was his reasoning?

Me: He doesn't have feelings for me anymore.

You: u guys have been together for a long time, and when ppl go off to college or graduate from high school things in general change and they are bigger changes then we think they are. theres living situation changes and schooling changes and sometimes relationship changes too. its just part of growing up.  and i know it doesnt matter what i say, but i promise u, no matter the pain ur in now, u WILL find someone that will be your forever.  I know we havent talked much since high school but i still love you Sam.

Again, seriously...learn how to spell and take some grammar classes.  I cannot believe that after all of the nasty shit you said about me, you still "love" me and care about me.  I don't want your "advice" and I don't need your sympathy.  How you could think that it was okay to message me after a few days of you saying such mean things you get all nice again.  You might want to go to the doctor and get checked for being bipolar.  Seriously.  

Say all you want to me, but really I could care less.  You blow things way out of proportion and I'm not the only one who sees this.  So many people wanted nothing to do with you because all you would do was start drama and yell for no reason.  I was always nice to you and stuck up for you a few times when I actually disagreed with everything you were saying.  You're someone who needs to be the center of attention, start drama, and blow up for no reason whatsoever.  You really have some angerment issues, Missy, and you should probably work on them.  

Sincerely,

Samantha

Dear Flute Teacher,

I never really thought I was good enough to have a professional flute player teach me, but my band director told me that I was ready.  The first day I met you I was quite nervous; I really didn't know what to expect.  You were so bubbly and happy that it was easy to relax and feel comfortable.  You told me that you were quite impressed on how I played my flute and you were glad to have me as your very first student.  With the music I had brought from band class, you helped me with tough passages.  You gave me a scales packet and told me that I was to practice them every day.  The packet even came with a fill-in chart for each scale.  When my mom picked me up after our half hour lesson, I was happy to report that you were amazing.

You got the gig as being the MSU student staffer for my first year at Band Camp.  I was the only one who knew you and were pleased to introduce you to the flute section.  I remember everyone absolutely loving you; who couldn't?  Your husband came to flute practice with your daughter who ran around saying, "Marching Band...Marching Band" while we would practice underneath our tree.  You were pregnant with your second daughter at the time and we all enjoyed listening to baby stories.  For our last day at Band Camp you brought us all cupcakes that you had made the night before.  They were absolutely delicious, if I'm remembering correctly.

We became really close over the next year we had together.  I started coming to lessons by myself and we would talk about life.  I recall we talked about Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio for a whole lesson once.  We worked extra hard the next lesson though.  You helped me learn to play the piece, Pan! and I fell in love.  It fit me perfectly for Solo and Ensemble.  Unfortunately, I messed up during my performance and I didn't move on to States, but that's okay.  You were proud of me for just getting up there and performing a solo.  I never would have had the confidence to do that without you.  I did yet another solo my junior year and two duets with my red headed friend my junior and senior year.  My friend and I got the highest score you could get at Solo and Ensemble and at States both years.  That was really amazing and all because of you. 

My mom stopped paying for lessons after a while and so our meetings came to an end.  I didn't want that though so I offered to babysit your kids while you went out with your husband for a date night.  You let me have lessons for watching your kids, and I was extremely grateful.  I will never forget you coming out in a black dress, your hair all done, make-up to perfection, and wearing these thigh high black boots.  You were looking super snazzy!  I loved babysitting your kids.  We would pop popcorn and watch movies until bedtime.  I would make them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner since that's all they wanted.  They would go to bed when I told them to which was really nice.  Only once, do I recall, that your youngest (at the time) cried because she missed you.  I laid in bed and held her until she fell asleep.  Your kids were such angels and I loved babysitting them.

Not only did I babysit your kids but I became close friends with you.   Some of our lessons were just spent talking about my life.  I have cried many times talking to you about my hard times and you always comforted me.  We messaged each other on Facebook a lot too.  I remember one time after my lesson you and I went out to Applebee's for dinner - your treat.  We sat and ate so much food and talked.  This was where you told me that you were pregnant with your third child.  I was so happy for you!  We didn't leave the restaurant until almost three hours had passed.  I really enjoyed talking to you and hearing what you had to say for advice.  You always knew what to say, it seemed.

You invited me to a Pure Romance party at your house once too. Your sister was going to become a consultant so she had one of her friends in the business throw you a party.  I was the youngest one there but I fit right in with the late twenties and up group.  I really enjoyed being there and laughing with not only you, but your friends as well.  They seemed pretty surprised when I told them that I was 18 and completely open with sex.  I mean, you were one of the first people I told when I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time.  Anyway, we had an awesome time playing with all the toys, tasting different things, feeling different things, and just overall laughing.  You bought a few products from the catalog and my boyfriend gave me money for something for us to use in the bedroom.  That was a really great night.  I wish we could do that again.

I will never forget this one time when my mom brought me to my lesson one evening even though she didn't pay for them.  She smiled her fake smile and talked to you for a tiny bit.  I tried really hard not to lose it while my mom was there and as soon as she left I started sobbing.  Life was getting really stressful and my mom had just gotten done talking to me about being ungrateful and such.  You hugged me and let me cry the whole lesson.  You didn't have anyone after me so you and I talked for maybe two hours.  I talked about marriage, sex, my mom, my dad, and school with you.  The two of us shared stories and cried.  I loved having you to talk to; you were so understanding.

I met a lot of people through you since you started teaching a lot of my friends and then people from other schools.  I met my now gay best friend because of you.  So I thank you for that, of course.  We practiced Christmas carols for us to play at a nursing home and got to know each other better.  Despite the fact that the Girl Who Put Me Through Hell was taking lessons from you, we all got along swimmingly.  The holiday party at your house was amazing.  I mean, that's where I really met my Gay Best Friend (more on him later).  Most of us helped at a Women's expo one year too.  We practiced duets, trios, and solos to play in front of people to try and get more students for you to teach.  One other thing that I did with you was the Pied Piper performance with your instructor.  I learned how to play a piece along with many other students from different flute teachers.  We performed in front of a large audience and on one of the best stages on MSU's campus.  

I will never forget the day we had to perform at a Marshall's Music store.  It was a small concert but important, none the less.  After all, it was our last performance as you being my teacher.  I was working on this piece for a while now but there was a tiny passage that I kept messing up at.  I practiced it over and over again with the pianist and still couldn't get it right.  When it was my turn to perform I just took a deep breath and started playing.  I thought about so many memories with you and how sad I was to be ending my time with you.  I played with such emotion and moved my body around as I felt the music flow through me.  When I got to the spot that was tricky, I aced it.  I couldn't have been more relieved and happy.  I poured my heart out into that performance and once I was finished so many people clapped for me.  You came up to me and started crying in front of everyone.  You handed me my certificate of being an awesome diva and a very long hug.  You let everyone know that I was your very first student and how it was an amazing journey to see me grow as a flutist.  Did you know how many compliments I got after the performance?  I was even told that I needed to go to school for music since I had such a way with playing my flute.  I felt so proud and honored to be not only one of your students, but your first student. 

We don't talk as much anymore and this saddens me.  I went away to college, you moved to another city in Michigan, and we grew apart.  We never went to a movie together to get fat off of the movie theater popcorn even though we said we would.  We haven't had one of our long talks in probably a year.  You had your new baby boy a few months ago and he is really adorable.  I haven't met him though since we have parted.  You helped me through so much and for that I thank you.  I will never forget how you would laugh, cheer me up, and talk about marriage.  You supported me in ways that my parents never did and I am so glad that we grew to know each other.  I can only hope that we can see each other in the near future and catch up.  You're an amazing flute player and I wish you all the best.  I will always remember you not just as my flute teacher, but as one of my greatest friends.  I miss you. 

With love,

Samantha

Dear Therapist #1,

I have nothing against you.  In fact, you were probably one of the nicest people I have ever met.  You were the school counselor in my elementary school and you helped me through a tough time.  I will always remember being pulled out of class to go to "therapy" in your tiny room by the main office.  There was literally a table with five chairs, a bookshelf with games on it, and then a tiny TV in the corner.  There wasn't much room to move around but it was our place to let loose.  Three other kids would join me and we'd sit and talk for what seemed like hours.  I'm sure it wasn't hours since we still had to go to class and such, but that's what it felt like. 

My mom had me taken out of class I think twice a week to go and talk to you.  What was going on in my life was to be kept a secret from everyone else but you and two of my classmates.  We swore into secrecy to not let whatever was said in your tiny room be repeated.  My mom told me that it wasn't right for me to talk about how my dad liked the same sex.  I also couldn't talk about how my parents were getting a divorce.  I remember multiple sessions were to make sure that we all knew that it wasn't our fault that our parents were splitting up.  I don't really recall us talking a lot though.  It was mostly just us kids playing games or watching movies to help us cope through our tough times. 

I remember one time the tiny group of divorced parents and I played Jumanji which was a lot of fun.  If we got "sucked into the board" we would hide underneath the table.  I'm pretty sure we made a lot of animal noises too.  That was a lot of fun.  I also remember eating mini doughnuts every time we had to talk about our home lives.  We would each stack up on as many as we possibly could.  There were hardly any powdered doughnuts compared to the chocolate kind.  We would all put the powder up to our lips to make them white and make kissy faces.  How silly is that? 

You had us keep journals and we were supposed to write in them every night.  I don't really remember what I wrote in mine, but I do recall drawing pictures of my broken family.  That always made me sad.  Every time we met we would share what we wrote.  It was a good way to get things off of our little chests.  You would smile at us and congratulate each of us for being so brave to talk about home.  But before we would read, you would point to your feelings chart.  To get us to relax a bit you would have us pretend to feel each emotion.  There was a picture of a cartoon making each face underneath each feeling.  Then we would say which ones fit how we were feeling inside.  Yet another good way to get us to open up. 

There is yet another memory that pops into my brain when I think of visiting you: tiny suckers.  You went into your office next to your tiny room one day to make a few phone calls.  We were left with crayons and a big sheet of paper to draw our feelings.  You left a big box of suckers in the middle of our table.  We drew on our papers for a tiny bit before shoving our hands into the box of sweetness.  A bet was made between the four of us who were in our small space: whoever could keep a popcorn flavored sucker in their mouth the longest won.  We each found a popcorn sucker and counted down from five to start the bet.  Within a few seconds two girls dropped out.  I won the bet against the only boy in our group.  I didn't win anything physical, just the satisfaction that I could keep that disgusting thing in my mouth the longest.  Oh the silly things we do when we're kids, hmm?

You helped me a lot, even if you don't believe it.  I could always go to your office and talk to you.  I did that a lot, remember?  Since my mom worked at the school I would get there early and leave later so we had a few private talks.  I really liked talking to you.  We would even talk while I helped you decorate the hallways, made copies in the copy room, or ate food in the teacher's lounge.  Not only did I see you as a therapist, I saw you as a friend.  You stopped working at the elementary school soon after I left to go to middle school.  I was sad when I found that out since you helped me so much.  I bet you helped a lot of other kids though, too.  Now you have kids of your own and they are beautiful and are going to elementary school.  Where has the time gone?  I think you even came to my Open House for my graduating high school.  You will always be therapist #1, but you will always be remembered as my favorite out of all three.  Thank you for helping me. 

With great thanks and appreciation,

Samantha

Dear Merp,

I had no idea that I would find such a great friend like you.  We became so close in such a short period of time.  Within two weeks of meeting you, I had messaged you on Facebook to see if you were okay to go and talk.  My boyfriend and I had broken up and I was a complete and utter mess.  We sat out on a bench and talked for a long time.  You let me cry on your shoulder and gave me advice.  It grew cold outside so we went into one of the buildings.  The two of us sat in some big comfy chairs and talked some more.  It had to have been around three o'clock in the morning, but we didn't care.  You made me smile even though I was so heartbroken and I knew from there that we would be great friends. 

We even got a visit from a cute drunk guy who joined in on our conversation.  He told us to just live life and to enjoy it.  We exchanged phone numbers and were given instructions to text him in the morning.  We walked around campus with him; that was an adventure in itself.  He threw one of his Gatorade bottles against the ground and it exploded.  I had to practically carry him up the stairs to his dorm room which was right by mine, oddly enough.  We found him on Facebook and added him as a friend, just in case he forgot who we were.  I texted him the next day.  Of course, he didn't remember me or you at all.  Funny how that worked out, huh?

Later on in the week the school was putting on some sort of event for the freshman class and you really wanted to go.  I met you at the huge rock in between our two buildings and we made our way to the building where the event took place.  Once we got into the building we were surprised to find so many things.  There were people handing out root beer floats, popcorn, goodie bags, and all sorts of stuff.  There was even a station for making wax hands, getting caricatures, and a guy who read palms.  We wanted to do everything but found that the lines were too long to do everything.  We stood in line for the palm reader for a long time, munching on popcorn and sipping on our root beer floats.  We talked about life some more and how much you missed your ex and how much I missed mine.  When we got up to the palm reader, you went first.  He read your palm and you were oddly surprised on how accurate he was.  After you were finished, it was my turn.  I handed you my stuff to hold and he looked at me and then at you and said this: "Are you two friends?"  We both looked at each other and smiled. 

"Yeah, I met her through the marching band here," you told him. 

"Ah," he said as he looked at my palm.  "You're a Capricorn and she's a Scorpio.  This is good.  This friendship is a good one," he smiled at us.  "You two will be the best of friends and for a very long time - for life, even."

He continued reading my palm and was pretty accurate as well.  Apparently I have three more lovers in my future, I'll get married, have three kids, and my prime time to shine is in my forties (a book published, maybe?).  The two of us left giggling and smiling about how we hoped the palm reader was right about our friendship.  So far, I would say he is right. 

You have slept on our couch in our dorm room many times.  A few times were because you couldn't stand the way your roommates were treating you.  There was a lot of drama with them; in fact, you have come over crying because of them.  But one night was when we had to write papers and do homework.  You and I both had energy drinks.  Boy, oh, boy was that a mistake!  We were way too hyped up to do any of our work.  We ended up blasting the song "Fer Sure" by The Medic Droid and that quickly became your new favorite song.  The two of us danced around and literally went crazy.  It was a freaking awesome night even though we both crashed and didn't get our homework done.  We just got up the next day and worked on it before the football game. 

I used to go over to your dorm a lot too.  Mostly it was to get away from drama and stupidity from my own room.  I never slept over though.  I would go back to my dorm in the wee hours of the night (3 or 4 o'clock in the morning).  We would watch movies, swap stories, talk to your roommate, and make food.  I even got you hooked on Doritos and french onion dip; that stuff is super fattening but completely delicious!  Anyway...while we're on the topic of food...you made me a home cooked meal once: a chicken breast and some creamed rice.  It was really good! 

You stayed the night in my room once since my roommate was gone all night and we had a very big bonding moment.  We made a lot of popcorn, cheesy bread sticks (which you burned), and some chicken nuggets.  We ate all of this food while watching one of our favorite movies, Rent.  However, we stopped watching it after a while and started talking.  You told me some of your deepest secrets and I told you some of mine.  We cried together and gave one another hugs.  We grew closer that night, even though I had no idea that it was possible. 

Sometime before Christmas break I brought you to my hometown.  You got to stay with me for a whole weekend!  It was awesome!  The first night was the Silver Bells parade.  We got to see a bunch of floats and even my high school marching band.  I introduced you to a few people before they got on their bus to go back to the school.  We saw the town tree light up and saw Cody Simpson perform on the capitol's steps.  We took a bunch of pictures to remember the night as well.  When we got back to my house we had a mini Disney movie party and ate popcorn.  The next day we got up and I took you around my town.  My boyfriend at the time met us for lunch at a cheep Chinese restaurant before he went to work.  We went to my mom's house, to my high school, and all over town.  A home cooked meal was waiting for us when we got back to my dad's house.  We watched more Disney movies, wrote a ton of Facebook status's together, and laughed.  It was a great time.  I even got to take the Malibu back to the school so we had a car for about a week on campus.  There were a lot of random trips to Walmart for no reason what so ever but to get off of campus. 

The week before finals I went to your home town.  We went to a football game at Ford Field first though.  Our faces were painted and we had a pretty good time.  Your dad and brother picked us up from the stadium.  We had to carry our huge bags of laundry and other necessities for the weekend to the car.  That surprisingly was a lot harder than we expected.  When we got to your house I was introduced to your family.  They welcomed me with open arms which was pretty great.  We went on a walk around your town and enjoyed the fresh air.  When we woke up the next morning your brother, you, and I drove around your home town.  We visited the college and just drove around to get away from the house.  Your parents were gone for a decent part of the night so we went and picked up your ex.  He hung out with us while we watched Friends with Benefits.  I ended up falling asleep on the couch though.  I must have been really tired.  You, your brother, and I took him home before your parents got back.  We even brought a pizza home.  I had to smuggle it in since your mom was really against junk food.  How I managed to walk by her without her knowing that I had a pizza hiding underneath my sweatshirt is beyond me.  The next day we went Christmas tree shopping with your family after a brunch.  I had an awesome time doing that with you.  We took a ton of pictures and ran in and out of the trees like little kids.  We saw a tiny snake, a black cat, and a lot of birds while looking for the perfect tree.  I even took a picture of you trying to be a tree.  You are too funny. The trip back to our college wasn't too bad.  I got a hug from your dad and your brother which was nice.  They even told me that they hoped to see me sometime soon. 

We shared many moments within one semester of college.  We went to the midnight primeere of Breaking Dawn, went to many more events that the college had, went to the free movies they offered, and complained about the football games.  It was a very sad day when I had to say good-bye to you before Christmas break.  You weren't coming back to the school since you hated it there.  I hated it there too, and that's why I'm transferring to a different college next fall.  You did come to visit us for a weekend when there was a free street fair.  We rode the Scrambler, Tilt a Whirl, ate popcorn, and stood in line for two and a half hours for balloon animals.  You got a koala on a tree as your balloon animal while I got a penguin.  We drank more energy drinks, you "broke" our TV, and had a blast - as usual.

It just so happens that the college you are wanting to go to is near the college I'm going to next fall.  You're planning on getting an apartment and I can come and visit!  The same goes for you too, of course.  I guess the palm reader really was right: we're going to be friends for forever.  I mean, look, we became such close friends in a short period of time, even when you moved back home we Skyped and cried together, and now we're going to be by each other yet again for school!  It's so crazy. 

You have been one of my best friends for not even a year yet and I love you as if you were my sister.  Every time I hear "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida, I think of you.  That was your feel better song.  Any time you or I were down in the dumps, we would listen to it.  I even called you that one time, remember, and was crying on the phone because I heard it on the radio.  I miss your laugh that sounds like Kitty from That 70's Show.  I miss when you would say "Merp." or "Meh." any time you were confused or troubled.  You are too funny and are an amazing friend.  I love you, girly. I can't wait until the fall where we can have many more memories. 

With so much love and friendship,

Samantha